one more try

Mom sent me an email, asking if I was willing to cut her hair if she made an appointment at the salon.

I waited two days to reply, because I didn’t know what to say.

Part of me wants to say no. Life is easier without her, and I’m so freaking afraid that she’ll suck me in again and that the story will repeat itself once again.

Part of me wants to say yes. F*ck it, she’s my mom!

She did say “Forgive me”, even if it took a few months. How much more can I ask for?

I never wanted to never see her again, I just had to put distance between us to save myself. I don’t trust her, I don’t believe that she has changed, I don’t know if she has understood what I meant – but then again I’ll never know, will I, unless I actually meet her. I’m not angry at her anymore. I want to meet my brother and sister, Alexander has a right to see his grandmother…

Eventually I sent her a reply, telling her all this, and that I will give her this last chance.

God I hope I made the right decision.

5 Responses to “one more try”

  1. Giulia says:

    “I want to meet my brother and sister”
    This comment tells me that there is more to your story than I understood. I will not ask you, as it’s your business but I hope for your sake, peace and sanity that you did make the right choice. Good luck.

  2. Cherrye says:

    Annika,

    I am sorry to hear you are still dealing with this. I can’t imagine the agony. I tend to think if you pray about things and then make a decision it is usually the right one, so I am sure you did make the right choice. Good luck.

  3. Annika says:

    Giulia, it’s not that she’s keeping them from me, it’s just that they live with her so if I’m choosing not to see her then it’s difficult to see them.

    Thanks for your support, it means a lot.

  4. Christine says:

    I don’t know the story, but I trust you made the right decision and I wish you the best. Hugs!

  5. Ellinor says:

    You made the right decision, Annika… without any doubt! =)

    (Jag svarade pÃ¥ engelska, tjoho)… ;)

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