cause we can’t go back to what never was

So I met mom today, for a cut-and-color session. It was difficult for me, but I could tell that it was even more difficult for her. We were courteous, well behaved, distanced. Strangers.

She looked sad when she left. Small.

I felt like crying.

11 Responses to “cause we can’t go back to what never was”

  1. Janie says:

    Maybe it’s a first step towards healing. She may be giving thought to how she has alienated herself from you.

  2. Paola says:

    i know the feeling. But if I try to ignore the past it comes back to me.
    I don’t think there is an alternative.

  3. Tina says:

    ***HUG*** to you

  4. Marko says:

    You just need to be patient and opened to her. If both of you take a few steps in the right direction things will have to change.
    If you succeed in doing that, I believe you will get close to each other once again.

  5. Annika says:

    Thank you guys… you are the best.

  6. Kali says:

    You have to start somewhere, and this is a small baby step. *hugs*

  7. Deb says:

    It certainly is some small way of the two of you having some sort of contact though.
    If this is all it can be, so be it. But I can see it’s sad and difficult for the both of you.
    This one Annika ,you have to play by ear and take it one step at a time.
    You never know what can happen if the doors are left open just a wee bit…..

    Deb
    xxoo

  8. Gil says:

    From the sound of this post things are improved from your last meeting. It might not be much of an improvement, but it is one small step towards a more civil life with her and your siblings. I really hope that things keep getting better.

  9. Typesetter says:

    Sometimes talking gets in the way. Sometimes you have to touch to communicate at a deeper level. Right now, I would need to pat your back, friend.

  10. Giulia says:

    I have to admit that I read this as soon as you posted, but something inside of me kept me from commenting right then and there. I dunno…maybe it was the tension that I felt, through you, from the few words you wrote to describe your meeting with your mother. I’ve been there, so I know the feeling. I have to agree though, small baby steps…one at a time.

  11. kiki says:

    Unfortunatly, Annika, my mother and I are like this too…related mostly just by blood…seeing each other because we’re supposed to. You are not alone. xoxo

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