When I was 18 I contemplated applying for an aupair position in Paris. Not because I wanted to be an aupair, but because I wanted to live in Paris.
There was nothing saying that I would actually get the job, but before I even wrote the application my mind made up a long list of why I couldn’t go: I had a nice rental apartment, and if I gave that up then where would I stay when I got back home? If I did give up the apartment, then where would I put my furniture? What would happen to my cat? My boyfriend?
I never applied for the job. Life continued – I moved to a new apartment, broke up with my boyfriend, met my husband to be, had a baby, killed the cat, bought new furniture… and didn’t leave the country for eight years.
To this day I regret never writing that application.
Had I known then what I know now, and had I had the wealth of information that the Internet provides, would I have acted differently? I think yes. I think I didn’t apply because of fear – I didn’t know what to do, didn’t know anyone who could give first-hand information, didn’t have anyone who encouraged me.
Today I read travel blogs and articles like The Journey Begins With A Single Step and How To Ditch The Cubicle And Plan Your Escape and I hear myself in their words, I am just like them and I wish I could do what they do.
we’re caught in a trap
I can’t walk out
because I love you too much baby
It is never too late to travel or move, but it would have been much easier when I had only a psycho cat and boyfriend to consider.
I have to find a balance, a compromise, a way to satisfy the restlessness and wanderlust in me, because right now it’s eating me alive.
Killed the cat? I hope accidentally at least!
It is true that the Internet has made mobility so much easier–not only physically but also emotionally. It’s nice, too, that once you’re in a different position/location/situation, you can probably find someone else in the same boat somewhere. Thank goodness!
Ah, I forgot to add that you’ll find that balance with some effort, and I wish you the best of luck in that search. You deserve to be happy
Um…yeah…killed the cat?!
I find myself looking back and wishing I had done some things differently. Why didn’t I study abroad??? Frankly, the thought never occurred to me then, and I can’t fathom why.
The one thing that keeps me from regretting it too much is knowing that I probably wouldn’t have met my husband.
So anyway…I must visit this website about ditching the cubicle and escaping!!
Yes, you will find that balance and compromise, and so will I. I have faith in both of us.
It wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds – she was a psycho cat after all
No, she was one of the most beautiful cats I’ve ever seen but she was miserable in our apartment and peed everywhere, especially after Alexander was born, and considering that I was her 4th owner and she was 2 when I got her, I thought it was better for her to be put to sleep than to either move AGAIN or to be trapped with us. I had tried everything to make her happy but it just wasn’t enough.
You know what? I thing things are just the way they are supposed to be now…I know you–you will find a way and everything will come the way it should be…when the time is right.
Love,
Deb