destination anywhere

For five years I have had such a clear vision of my future. Now, not so much.

I have created a business that generates a little extra income but it is also a lot of work. What I also have begun to realize is that this business in its current form is keeping me tied to Sweden. It does not make me as location independent as I would like to be.

Now, as long as we live in Sweden it is not a problem, and if we ever move anywhere else I would simply sell it. No big deal. My hairdresser license is valid in most countries so as long as I can talk with people I can work anywhere.

I guess what I am starting to think about is whether or not I am on the right track. Some of my passions are not as strong as they used to be, although I don’t know if that is just a result of me being overworked or if I’m actually done with that particular thing and it’s time to move on.

I would like to be able to work from home more. I would like to be able to be at home more.

Hmmm.

I’m kind of stuck at the moment. We’re not moving anywhere until my husband graduates, but we are likely to move somewhere after that. As long as he is in school I can’t quit my job at the salon, but it is no secret that I am quite fed up with the ladies I work with. My future is not to remain there. I keep my distance, secretly knowing that I will only work there for another year or so. I know a couple of them are having quite big issues with me and I just couldn’t care less anymore. Knowing that I won’t stay there forever I don’t give a hoot about their opinions of me. I am merely biding my time, having already left in my mind.

It is quite familiar by now. I know myself. I recognize the way in which I distance myself, not wanting to be attached to anything so the separation phase won’t be too difficult. I feel how my energy shifts from “here” to “there”, which is kind of frustrating as I have absolutely no idea of where “there” will be. I guess it could be quite exciting if I wasn’t such a Type A, but as it is I would like to know so I could plan and prepare accordingly. I realize that all things do not need to be prepared at all times but some things can’t be done otherwise.

Argh!

I don’t know where I’m going
only God knows where I’ve been
I’m a devil on the run,
a six gun lover
a candle in the wind, yeah