Although in this case I was the cat, and my kitten was the mouse.  I left her 10 weeks ago when she was only 6 months old, a baby!  I thought I was leaving her in good hands.  Well, I was wrong…my baby is having babies!  And my dad, whose ‘good hands’ I thought I was leaving her in, witnessed the whole event!  And did nothing!!!  So now I am watching, waiting, and preparing for this blessed event.  She should be giving birth within the next week.  In the meantime I have been giving that kitty a good talkin’ to.  I told her “babies shouldn’t be having babies”, then I just had to ask, “what were you thinking?”.  Her response was one quick “meow” followed by a head butt.  Although I’m not quite sure what that meant, I am very sure of this…girlfriend’s getting spayed once this fiasco is over!

…a thousand words.  Since I know damn well that I could never focus long enough to write a thousand words about me in a meme, I thought this would be perfect.  I saw this over at Dove Mi Porta Il Cuore and thought it was pure genius…and fun too!    

Get the picture?

 Now you know you want to do this, so here are the rules:

a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
b. Using only the first page, pick an image.
c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?
7. Dream vacation?
8. Favorite dessert?
9. What you want to be when you grow up?
10. What do you love most in life?
11. One Word to describe you.
12. Your flickr name.

1. Carpe Diem  2. Still Life  3. Atlantic City High School Snapshot   4. Pink Gadgets  5. Lenny Kravitz             6. Water is Life  7. Moorea  8. Red Velvet Cake at CPK  9. Calm, Cool, & Collected  10. Surfers Nostalgia Blue  11. Complicated  12. Bon Voyage to all of Our Crap

Unlike alot of people, I couldn’t wait to turn 40.  This was, after all, an event that was forty years in the making.  I don’t know what could be more incredible than that…besides maybe the next forty years.  Anyway, this year I decided to do something very un G-like.  I decided to break from my usual routine of jetting off to some unknown place where nobody knew me so that I could wake up the morning of my birthday in a new, beautiful, and different place.  My family and friends always thought it was nuts, I always thought it was amazing. 

This year I thought I’d do something a little different.  I was already going to be in Florida for other celebrations and so I planned to just surprise everyone and stay in a very familiar place, with some very familiar people.  I rented my old place, woke up in comforting surroundings, and saw some of the most beautiful people I’ve ever met…my family.   It was a real simple day.  We lounged by the pool, ate a simple dinner, and then we went to town on a huge, three layer, red velvet cake, with buttercream frosting.  I wouldn’t have changed anything about that day.  This was a big birthday for me, it was special, I beat the odds and made it this far in life.  There couldn’t be any other people on this earth that could possibly understand that, or who would appreciate it’s importance.  My family gets it…they get me.  

So here I am, fabulous at forty!!!

One of my biggest concerns when I moved to Italy was my health care… in fact, it was a lot of people’s concerns.   Despite this, I forged ahead and did what I never imagined I would do…I left security of my existing network of family, friends, and physicians.  I know that most people my age don’t have to worry about health issues until much later in life.  I’m not one of those people.  I had to do a lot of research to be sure that my needs could be met, and I was scared to death.  What made it all even more difficult was that I was having one of the ’unhealthiest’ years of my life, but maybe that’s where my strength came from.  Whenever I questioned myself as to why I was making such a major life change my only thought was, “if not now, when?”

I always believed that we are guaranteed very little in life, and some are guaranteed even less.  There have been many times in my life when I didn’t know which applied to me, but as I grew older, it all became a little clearer.  You see, when I was nine months old, I was diagnosed with a genetic blood disorder known as Beta Thalassemia.  The day that diagnosis was confirmed my parents were told that it would be a miracle if I lived to be twenty years old.  Since diagnosis I have been transfusion dependent and have been receiving red cell transfusions every three weeks.  One of the most significant side effects of these blood transfusions is iron overload which has led to further health issues.  When I was 11 years old I had to have my spleen removed which has left me immuno-compromised.  When I was 19 years old I began to develop recurring Pericarditis which led to another surgery at the age of 23, a procedure called a Pericardial Window.   In between, I developed gall stones and had to have my gall bladder removed, and I have had several ports implanted because my veins are shot, and I’ve had those same ports removed when my body decide to reject them by becomming infected.   Overall, I have spent a lot of time in and out of hospitals.  Sometimes the reasons behind the hospitalizations were clear, sometimes they were just medical mysteries, either way, they were always traced back to being a Thalassemic.  

As I have gotten older, Thalassemia continues to influence my day to day health, both physically and emotionally.  My organs become more damaged with each transfusion I receive, and I have Osteoporosis, Arthritis, and Fibromyalgia.  There are days were I have no mental clarity due to my bodies inability to process toxins efficiently.  Emotionally I have very little range, making me feel very one dimensional.  I am aware of the medications that exist for most of these problems and have tried them all.  When I feel like the benefits outweigh the costs I stick with them, the rest I leave behind.

“Woe is me” is not what I am putting out there, that is not to say that I don’t feel that way sometimes, it’s just not where I’m at at this point in my life.  I mean seriously, what’s a girl to do, this is my life and it really could be much worse…I mean, really!   So maybe that is the most important gift that Thalassemia has given me…the ability to be grateful. 

By the way, I have just celebrated my 40th birthday…who’d of thunk it!!!

I stepped back onto American soil on March 26th, 2007.  It had been nine months since I left everything and everyone to move to Italy.  On the one hand, I couldn’t wait to come visit everyone, to return to the life that I knew for so long, but on the other hand, I was very anxious and uncertain.  Of course none of this really mattered because I was here for a two month visit.  My sister picked me up at the airport and it felt as if she had just dropped me off a couple weeks before.  She took me back to her house and as we pulled into the driveway I was greeted by my nephew’s hugs and kisses.  It was amazing and my feelings of anxiety and uncertainty were quickly squashed when I heard two very simple words come out of my nephew’s mouths…”Auntie G”. 

On July 7, 2007, I boarded a flight to Italy to see what life in the bel paese was really about.  I was about to leave behind any possessions I hadn’t sold, my career, my friends, and most importantly, my family.   You see, I had spent the better part of the last 18 years living within 1 mile of my sister and her three children.  There was even a period of 2 years where we lived together because she was getting divorced and we wanted the children’s lives to have some semblance of balance, and we wanted them to still have the security of living in a household with two adults.  I was there to get them off to school in the mornings, I would prepare meals if I came home before my sister, I disciplined, and I even became a member of the city’s recreational hockey program because my oldest nephew played.  I was a parent…and I loved it.  Even after my sister and I moved into two different residences we were within walking distance of each other.  Some people said it was unhealthy, they said we were too enmeshed…we said it worked.  So, it’s not that hard to see why my family was the biggest concern when I decided to move to Italy.  I felt like I was abandoning them and for some the feeling was mutual.  Although the decision to leave Florida was killing me inside I knew it was something I had to do for me.  A lot of time was spent talking to the kids about their feelings, no holds barred.  Some of it was good, some of it was bad, and some of it was down right ugly.   The time eventually came for me to leave and my goodbyes were filled with uncertainty.  When I boarded the plane I had no idea what I would find when I reached my destination, but I didn’t care.  The only thought on my mind was what would find when I returned.

So I’m not good at this blogging thing lately.  I used to blog regularly and then one day I took a one way flight to Italy and somewhere over the Atlantic I lost my groove.  Don’t get me wrong, I do have somewhat of a life in Italy, in fact, some would say I have a really great life in Italy.  I just really miss coming to this place everyday and boring the poor souls who stumble upon my ramblings.   Now, I really don’t know why I can’t get my groove back, but if I had some very simple assignments (hint, hint) I’m sure I could get going again.  So here is my cry for help…PLEASE tag me for something.  Anything.  I’ll even do a (dare I say) meme.  Oh my goodness, I really have hit bottom, haven’t I.  Well it’s a good thing that I ain’t too proud to beg, so, PLEASE HELP ME.   

I’M ITALIAN!!! It’s official.
After all of my fingerprinting issues I did finally pick up my PDiS (the big letter sized one). It was ready, as promised by the Questura, September 6, 2007, and I was no longer “an illegal”. Can I get an AMEN!?! I was like a kid with a new toy. As soon as I got home with my Permesso I made a copy of it and ran it over to the comune. Well, I didn’t actually run…I don’t think I’ve ever actually ran…but that’s not really the issue. Anyhow, on my way to the comune, Permesso in hand, I proudly displayed it to everyone I knew. This really was a happy moment for me…I mean, I came here on a one way ticket with no Visa. I really was illegal, but not anymore. I made it to the comune and presented this beautiful paper to Enrico (yes, we are on a first name basis) who had already gotten everything I needed together for my citizenship. He asked for four new photos, a signature here, a signature there, and then he gave me a date to come back in three weeks to pick up my Carte d’Identita. Needless to say, I showed up on October 18, 2007 and am now a citizen of Italy,. Now I can get my Italian Passport…how exciting!!!

I can’t believe it has been over three months since I last wrote. Wow! I can tell you that a lot of things have gone on in my life. I guess I’ll start with my 9 day stay in the hospital…not fun. I know that hospital stays aren’t supposed to be fun, but when the drugs are good it helps. I’ve come to learn that Italy isn’t really hip to the beauty of opiate based medications. I spent nine days in intense pain as a result of grapefruit sized glands and very poor pain management. Thank goodness Italy is in enlightened to the use of anti-biotics!

Once that nightmare ended I was off on a 5 day road trip with my brother. He flew in from Chicago for a week, primarily to see a concert in Bologna. I picked him up in Rome where we spent the first night. He had reserved two rooms in a really nice hotel near Piazza di Spagna. We walked around the shops, drank some very expensive caffè, and had a great antipasto. It was a very relaxing way to visit Rome. We weren’t there to be tourists, we were there to enjoy a day together in a beautiful city…and that is just that we did . Of course it had to be a very short day because we wanted to get to Bologna early enough to explore before finding a great restaurant to eat dinner.

We arrived at around 3 in the afternoon and checked into a little boutique hotel just off the main shopping district. The location was excellent and we were able to walk around aimlessly yet still see some of the more important places in Bologna. Again, we weren’t really tourists. This stop was specifically chosen because my brother was going to a concert, otherwise, it would not have been a stop on this trip. We did find and excellent restaurant for dinner, and then found an even better place for dessert. What could better than that??? Nothing, in my opinion, but my brother did rate seeing Nine Inch Nails and Tool together in concert a little bit higher. Now just so you all know…I did have a ticket to go to the concert but really just wanted to do nothing since I was just released from the hospital 5 days earlier. So, when my brother went to the concert the following day I lounged…that is, after all, what I do best. The day after the concert I met my brother after breakfast and we were off once again.

My brother asked me which city I thought he really needed to see…someplace where we would be tourists. I needed no time to think about it…Florence!!! So Florence it was. My brother wanted to stay off of the highways so it added about an extra hour to the drive but it was well worth it. We drove through some of the most beautiful little villages and saw some of the most incredible vistas. I just couldn’t’ wait to show my brother the city I love…and then there she was. We rounded a curve in the road and were faced with the most amazing view of Florence. It was brief, but it was spectacular. After two days of Ponte Vecchio, sunset at the Arno, The Duomo, and Davide, we both decided that the highlight of this entire road trip was that split second view of Florence.

We ended our time together back in Montefalcone nel Sannio along with our parents. It was the first time in 15 years that the four of us were together. I wished my sister had been there as well…that would have made it perfect. Anyway, my brother’s vacation was over and it was time for me to start preparing for my move to Perugia. But we won’t talk about that now…you’ll have to be patient, as this was a bit of overload for me. I promise not to make you wait another three months for an update.